Yourself, or Others
by Careful Gaze
I wrote this song in Iowa still before I moved, at least lyrically. I remember distinctly writing a draft of the lyrics on my phone after working at my Mental Health job, while waiting to sell presale tickets for a show to someone.
Why do bands have to act like drug dealers to earn spots on shows? That’s a whole different issue….
This song features my longest-ever recorded scream, and it is 100% real.
This song is fictional and is about lovers that get into a car crash. The person that the song is written through the lens of is mentally ill and unmedicated. Three of us worked in mental health careers for a good amount of time and have seen the ins and outs of the system. Many of our clients resisted their medications because of the way it made them feel. Some were willing to take them, but would ask for just a few more hours of time as “themselves” before going home and taking pills.
Yourself, or Others portrays that raw sense of youthfulness and emotion when you are out on your own without guidelines. You recognize you have to be accountable eventually, but you enjoy the moments of unbridled freedom as long as they can last.
In the story, their car crashes but the male flees the scene in order to appease the voices in his head. He finds a vantage point and looks out over the wreckage, which portrays dissociation from pain/conflict.
I ask the question “are we all one circumstance away from becoming that which haunts us” in this song because I think that’s an important question to ask. Some people seem to get lofty with their feelings on their own mental health when they aren’t having issues. The truth is - we are all a few moments away from breaking down, and it is how we choose to care for ourselves and react to what life throws at us, that makes the difference.